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POETRY
S!CK
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Single Ballad
Alone again
I find comfort in my inner loneliness
Caged off from all judgement
And pathetic polluting words of offense.
My defence has become an attack
That is so bad I harm all standing in my path
Vicious and Deadly
I am not sure whether
The World will ever be ready
For the sick new world order remedy
Lying deep within me
My weapon of choice is my voice
Verbally I bring the noise
Sending violent tremors
Quaking your mental.
I stand alone, united with real
And fight for a purity lost
In a greedy rush for a fake heaven.
Listen to the lesson learnt and taught 
From all who fought for the same thought
Of fame.
Lame.
Read my logic
And swallow the truth
Like a dry cactus
Shredding the raw flesh named lie
Down your throat.
Then spit the blood with the new found truth
Into the face
Of those who painted your lie.

 

Precious Lie
Precious Lie
To the same ear and eye
But from those lips that speak it
Lies the containment confiding
A hidden truth that will remain never discovered.
Why lie if only you and your conscious face the truth
Of you being untrue?
So deceptive is your inner thought
That you taught yourself to believe your lie
A poisoned mental state
Too lazy with the guilt to think to concentrate
Meet a mate and make another fake
Newly Born!
Once again
The cycle continues round and round they go
Spreading a fake reality because it is all that they know
Mad metaphorical meanings to more madness
Catch another reason for logical thought
And make it your own
That is all that I have ever known.

 

A desperate Plea
Is everybody looking for Love with eyes wide shut?
Sex could be the enemy
Friendly to a divorced slut
But!
A conjunction bringing a different mind set
Sends stuttered chills up the spine of her ex
Who is still inside that Love of hers
Found between her thighs
Lies lies.
A dishonest sensation that numbs your logic
And blinds your emotions
Theoretically you care not
But now made careful a pet
I’d bet
You lost your self-respect
You will find it where you left it
Inside that same dark inner hole
Called loneliness.
Warm it is there yes
If you can find emptiness a glorious success.
Pest.
Be gone from my thoughts
You disturb my inner peace
With turbulent frustrations
That pinch nerves like defensive crustaceans
I won’t search for Love
I instead will flee from it.
A vile taste like vomit
Rots in my chest
If I were to spit my feelings into your face
You will melt before me
Which would actually bless me with entertainment!

You are a foolish contagious pest
You spread your foolishness with innocence
Since the start of existence.
Persistence can beat you
I stand alone before thee
Free from our stupidity
But permanently positively infected with it
It reached me many a time before
Now life is a Boar.
Chills shiver in my boiled core
I adore a playa
My game seems fixe,
But my heart broken.
Now paralyzed fed up emotions beg you
To Fuck Off
Vanish from my memory and reality
I’m tired of you having me
Pant rapidly as your pet.
Leave me for the sake of what is left of my sanity
From me to thee
A desperate plea.

 

A Playa Is Born
Interior thoughts warped
By the opposite sex
Interior feelings are next
But they lie hexed and perplexed.
Rejects cannot make sense
Of the second chance
You remain subdued and still In a crude mood
Because of the cruel food fed named truth!?
I reject these negativities before they reach me via Bluetooth.
Intelligence named as a planned ploy
To destroy those intimate memories of joy
And to incorporate that deep dark stubbornness.
What you call stubbornness
I call pure bliss
Created by a expensive reputation in this love business.
And to think that something
So perfectly gorgeous
Contains the remains of a vile
Infected and pathetic
Bitter mistress
With her mind set
On a mean diss for it’s own entertainment
Seems silly…
But reality is real!
Look at your president!
You rent a heart wear it out
Then run around town
With a reversed frown
On your pretty face.
I make a public statement
To put you in your place of disgrace.
Reality is real
And I hate that I love you still.
I swallowed my heart as a meal
With your please for forgiveness as an entree  
Then smoked up my pitiful l pity for you
And let it lay in my ashtray
With a beer on the side
Just to awaken that sleeping sensation called pride.
Now, what you call love
I call an official mutual agreement
To get pussy on a regular basis
A Playa Is Born!

 

FYI
I am so tired!
So tired of this pathetic excuse of an existence
Weary of the persistence of my resistance
To give in to standard.
Drowning in the flood of working on my survival.
I am so tired!
How to focus your energy
When you are too busy to think?
Normalities of life are becoming
More difficult
With each day that passes,
Exhausting my attempt at taking a break.
I ask not for your help
For I know that it will not be granted,
Whether with begs or pleads or not.
Logical thought stops.
Drops dead with exhaustion as well
Now I stand alone.
Mindless
With a cold heart for thought
thinking death.
My stubborn pride pushes this thought aside
With a smile.
Grinning at the intensity of the challenge
Called Life.
Smooth seas don’t make for skilful sailors
The turbulence allows me to spill my guts on the floor
to make sure
whether courage is present or absent
My vernacular accent remains
Vicious my tongue spitting facts
You block your ears to!
And I am so tired of my attempts
To convince you that
They don’t care
about you
but I do!
FYI

 

Oh Writers Block
Oh! Writers block please be gone
You are self-inflicted, and working against my cause.
So technically…
I am fighting the imperfect man in the mirror.
Egotistical Pig!
I’ll destroy your writers block
with a deep thirst for inspiration.
I’ll starve your writers block like the government.
Be gone Writes Block!
You have no defence
against my intellectual assault.
All negativity revolt – ing
To my mind.
Oh writers block you are delaying all progress
be gone and vanish like my interest in politics.
Call the corrupted police
and all you pigs can die together.
I call upon my inner strength and inspiration
to design a new and unique assault
to diminish all blocks in my path.
Too fluid for you to defend against
My words flow as a distraction
My thoughts pierce your vulnerability
Stabbed, bleeding and mortally injured
Shudder and die!
So that I can attack
The rest of the challenges blocking my dreams

 

Modern Day Samurai
Over ten thousand of my people dead
Sent to their maker
At the expense of the planet’s population’s actions
Tsunami!
Earthquake!
Earthquake, Tsunami!
Death and Damage
A disgusting alternating dance performed by a couple
I sit now
Some call my sacrifice vain.
I care not
Exposed to radiation in this dreadful plant
I have already accepted my fate
I struggle night in and night out
To protect my people
The price of my life
Is the fee to save thousands
Ill now,
They urge to rush me to hospital
I deny, there is work to be done.
I will work till death calls me
For nobody else can perform my duty
My Fate!
The same fate that my weeping friends and family hate.
Do not cry for me
My victory is eternal.



Thoughts 21/06/11
Running away from paper chasing
In the opposite direction,
Not in the game as yet
So I can’t get radio play
Aggravated, frustrated and flat out pissed off!
My mind is too busy
And my heart not interested.
Lifelong dreams seem to be pursued
By a directionless map
A infinite circle standing still and complete
Rotating in the same location
Yet, moving forward
In a new direction.
Deep thoughts as protection resist the neglect ion
And attempt to purify as my reflection.
Yet, he too, is not bothered.
Hatred for the viciousness of the struggle
Grinds relentlessly upon tired shoulders.
Why move mountains anyway?
Mother Nature placed them there perfectly!
But!
To venture around these
Takes a lifetime.
Attempts to keep the cracked dam wall named peace from falling
Are failing successfully.
Spiritual guides are silent.
No guidance or messages heard for months
Whilst inner demons riot loudly!
“Feed them your hatred”
Rage scratches and assaults the inner cage
“Let Me Free”
Captive feelings set to over boil and erupt.
My desperate need to fight war with peace
Is placing strain on my dream’s pleas
For birth.
All roads lead to Rome
Which is the code name for a dead end.
No family member or friend attempts his aid
And personally I am fat too tired to be afraid
Of the traps the Devil laid.
Positive thinking should be powered by positive thoughts.
Simply because positive thoughts
Are hard to find
In the portrait named life painted by the lie
Negative ones die.

 

Ancient Brave Hearts
I recognise that you are a fifth
Of my life length                                                                  
Personifying that that I have lived and loved
To my abilities’ best.
As a pest I glimpse under my grey brow
Hoping to catch your eye
Like a female youth’s rear.
I honestly request not your affection or respect,
Simply a greeting
As an acknowledgement of my existence.
A small reminder to my amnesia
That I am alive!
So close to the grave I walk
It is not far to go now.
Weaker with each step I have reserved strength for this wave
For yours returned is all
That keeps my heart brave.

 

Her Biggest Lie
Her biggest lie was
I love you.
Not because it was thoroughly repeated
but because it was believed
Three simple infectious words
Polluting a purified heart
To the point where it numbs the mind.
Vulnerable to every and any attack
I stand nude on the battlefield
Too hurt to think of coughing up tears
Courage has long left
Fear left with it
All that remains is an empty shell
Of former shelf
Accompanied by a dreadful regret
You live and you learn!
What doesn’t kill your heart scars it
Scars don’t leave
And only she who placed the scar
Can remove it’s mark
Her biggest lie
Was life changing
Many minds
Have survived this pain
I stand nude, defeated
By the pathetic ambition of eternal happiness
Such innocent wishful thinking
…childlike.
She had lied before
But I never thought
That her feelings were fake.
Such a brilliant actress she is
Acting real
And succeeding in her persuasion
Nude I stand
With a bloody hand
Decorated by my heart’s arteries
It beats not,
Neither does it drip
Dry, like the flooded tears I cry.
When I open my mouth
Only to let out a deep silence.
It does relieve me subtly
I can’t eat
No appetite for life exists
The air is thick
And sleep is non-existent
Deep meditations make an attempt to heal
But fail.
Only time can rid me of this pain.
Her Biggest Lie
Was I love you.
Which came with addictive welcoming arms
From her family and friends
So I was not the only victim.
Now I have lost a brother and mother
As they have lost a son.
Focus can’t be found
Attention can’t be paid
Only rebounds can be played
Losing myself in deep doubt, pain and regret
I search for the light or comfort
It tells me time will lick my wounds
Naturally disinfecting the poisoned scar
That warns my mind
And troubles my heart
Back at the start, again.

Goddaughter
Today I met my Goddaughter
Heaven sent and perfect
Astonished, me and her father
Drank to reflect
Her beauty is unmatched
Like the tall tree of wisdom
That she holds,
An infinite natural pool of peace
We have all soaked in I suppose
Her aura is warm and glows
As the warmth in my heart grows,
To mimic the eternal love I hold
For her she knows yet never shows.
She smiles though,
Just to muse me to melt in the moment
Growing with each second passing
I try to hold it and own it
But it is not mine to have
To be a particle of it I am glad
Like a spec of oil on the Sistine chapel
Undiscovered hidden as planned
She is an artistic taste of poetry
Sent to me as a reminder
Of her blessed beauty notice she
Positively perfecting the world in front and behind her
Freshly mentored from her maker…we all learn

 

Thoughts in the rain
The purpose of my existence
Resists to persist in your silly game
Your actions and state of mind
Cant find the line that has to be drawn.
More knowledge born from the passion
For the pursuit of happiness and peace.
Leaves, you and your followers
With a stubborn mental dis-ease.
Brain infested with negative fleas
Scratching at deteriorating memories.
So cold that it let your heart freeze.
Repel these negative influential wannabees
Who want to be influential but fail with ease!
I spit on these!
Send your spent hatred back to it’s origin
Which is an action you performed
Causing an effect
I reject that that you refuse to neglect
Called your chase for success
I am already successful
Blessed by the real
That my creator had concealed
In the perfect mode of my DNA
Created in his image I shine beautifully
Given faults as results from challenges,
The solution for the gifted equation
Called freedom of choice.
My mind now remains poised
And set up camp where it found peace.
I spit on these!
Microphones, the weapon of choice
Along with my voice
Tear all opposing thought
With a viral silent noise
Actions speak louder than words
So I don’t act,
I live!
For the gift I deliver to you lyrically
Brings the greatest joy
Simply because you lent me your ear
I’ll send it back with another gift…
Peace be with you as an eternal challenge
To your mental, body and spirit
It never leaves your side or view
All you ever have to do is you.

 

I Fall
I fall
In and out of love with her
Twice or thrice a day
Frustrated feelings
Cant bother
Blind emotions
Because they have no sight
To the similar logical thought called right
Confusion can’t figure me out
Or the reason of my actions
Not really interested
No not really interested.
In the thought of questioning my emotions
That thought alone
Remains hilariously painful
Shameful jealousy arose again
For time spent.
I fall in and out of love with her
Twice or thrice a day
Painfully…
And shamefully
Thi8s life seems silly
Why not let everybody be happy
And ignore our own selfish needs
That way
There will always be somebody
Loving you!
Sounds like a plan?
It’s old school!
I fall in and out of love with her
Twice or thrice a day
Without make – up sex
Ignoring the reason for her existence
Which in essence is mine which is
The search for happiness.
But we only venture from it’s stagnant
I we look for it.
Notice!
The happiness around you.
Loved, by an individual.
I fall in and out of love with her
Twice or thrice a day
And she still
Has nothing to say.
Pity me.
Because sometimes I do
I wonder if I care to think
About her mutual feelings
Too much effort for a tired heart.
Whose mind does not bother to assist.
I fall in and out of love with her
Twice or thrice a day
How greedy am I?
!
You rep a market orientated
ATL originated
Un-sacred movement that pollutes my love
Hip Hop!
Then try to make a name for yourself
Like you made it
But you live in Johannesburg South Africa
In your skinny jeans
I’m sorry my friend but in my mind
You are fucking stupid!
Listen to these words that I speak!
I will spark the light to lead the way
Into the life of the dying day
A verbal A.Ka’d spray is coming your way to say
Pray!
Pray for forgiveness as well as your blessings.
For I feel no pity for leaving your breathless
Try to test this, you will fail
Miserably, like the look of a frail sail
Blowing your battleship into my direction
A head on collision will force you to listen
To a little of a lot less fashion stated mission
That I am wishing will teach them
To stop being fucked up!

 

Notes
I rise and shine like the sun bright
Feeling right like Nike
On my grind like
A chef crushing the garlic cloves of destiny to change the taste of life
Because the feeling isn’t appealing
Like these political dealings
Reeling in rands with plans to tax the air that we’re breathing
The truth is what I believe in
But have not heard it in a while
Cats lying in their raps
Like chicken in a twister meal served with a smile
Shit is wild in the concrete jungle
Better check your child
Is not on a Hillbrow rooftop
Mixing weed, mandrax and extra mild.
They’re flaunting swag and style in skinny jeans now
The girls wear nothing
that’s why they are home knocked up feeling down.
Parent’s in their face telling them to replace
Their childhood dreams with parenthood in denial
Of the fact that the child is their dream come true
But they hate on it wow!
The birth of an innocent infant is karma dancing to a sound
Swimming in the rhythm of life
You can either dance or drown.
I choose to get down like the amount in my bank account.
I been broke for so long
I don’t know what half of you are talking about.
Because they go
On, and on, and on
About all the things that they own
Yet never stutter a syllable
Complimenting a soul
And that makes them
So cold…
That they flaunt that they’re hot
Disguising the fact
That they are actually confused as fuck
And I have heard enough!

 

Enlightened entrapment
Could it be a broken heart that is keeping me?
Depleting the feeling and needing to be free.
Locked away in a moment
And she conveniently lost the key
Now I have to chew away these bars
And kill this guard called memory
Or it’s plural,
And they’re so strong
That they’re hurting me
A bottle of liquor
Will kill her quicker
Rum it shall be.
But…
In my head I want her near not dead
And in my heart I want us
Close not apart
“Daft!”
Shouts a heavy mind
“Fuck You!” replies the heart.
I laugh
Because all three of us are lost
But call it art!
My mind doesn’t like my heart’s feelings
And my heart doesn’t like my mind’s thoughts
However, whether the weather
Stormy or better
Both desire a bar?
It is an understanding
You can’t understand.
Sometimes, neither can I
But only sometimes.
The bottle did not work
Nor the second or it’s blunt.
The guard called memory is not violent
Just deadly.
You don’t hear her coming
When she silently assassinates your happiness
With an entertaining grin
I allow myself to be decorated by her hard cutting assault
Well aware of the victory within.

 

My Heart’s friend
I have a bad relationship with love,
And a great relationship with heartache
But sometimes I feel I dictate
This painful roué I take.
No mistake,
It’s fate, only those living can relate.
I get high to burn brain cells
To allow thoughts to congregate
Is it Love that I hate?
Or the pain fed by my female mate?
At this rate
My sanity will soon fall to destinies bait
And devour all compassion
Piece for peace on the hour
Yet I am quick to silence my rage
When I feel my evilness growing louder
In my, silence.
Warped thoughts twist my mind
Making peace hard to find
And these frustrated feelings
Can only be relieved through a rhyme.
But time, is something I have not
So I spend most of it
In the presence of Hip Hop,
Where I first met my heart
And where I will meet her again
For the love she has for the art
Is too strong to defend
Against the craving felt
Day out and day in
Once the hunger has spoken
I will find my heart on the floor
Where it only cares for the moment spent with Hip Hop
Not me, nor love anymore.
And that is where she should be
For that is where she will find me
A love so unique
It mirrors itself mutually
You see four
Trust, Honour, Respect and Loyalty
This is what I seen and love in her
And what she has seen and loves in me
Hip Hop is the mutual friend
That outlives each and every other thing
That means nothing.
This feeling is so disgusting within for…
I have a bad relationship with love
And a great relationship with heartache.
Cos heartache always leads me back
To the floor
Where my heart lies to adore
Where it cares only for the moment spent with Hip Hop
Not me, nor love anymore

 

Last thought
I thought I knew who you were
But that’s just who I thought you were in fact
Who you are is everything I hoped you were not behind my back.
Deceptive, lying, fake, like your emotional words uttered.
Teasing my heart with thoughts of a non – existent bliss
That existed once, for one.
To think I loved a stranger for eight years.
Strange.
Strange that I would allow you to feast
On the most sentimental sediments of my soul
Granting you the hold on the wheel that dictates control
Ad direction, of my joy and pain
Lost in the sea of confusion my thoughts remain.
Again!
But again never,
For now I see the bird of this feather
And she can’t fly or flock with my herd or one of a lot less better.
I see you now, clearer than I ever have before
And for the first time, through my third eye.
There is nothing of you I adore, nor
Appreciate. I have never lost, but never had a taste for fake.
So your face is now a crimson mask of disgrace and deceit
But play your fate, in the game of life I can’t wait
For the day you and your karma meet.
And on that note, I thank you
For your lessons learnt, true.
The words I love you can be used as a weapon or tool
Instead of an emotional promise or pact
This will be the last time I give you
Or your love a thought in fact.

 

Two Snapped Fingers
And with the speed of two snapped fingers
She was gone from my heart
And felt not
Like the cliché commercial hip hop far from art
And so starts the darkness
As all logical thought parts with
My emotions, leaving my heart with deep dents
Which once held common sense
But now only hold echoed screams and cries
Which are heard by and haunting nobody
But my insides.
Luckily for me this is easy to disguise
From your naked eyes
But to find a high success rate
In it’s absence in my future judgement would be a surprize!
None the less…
With the speed of two snapped fingers
she was gone from my heart
and felt not
like deep rooted emotions
during highly inebriated sex with a stranger in the dark
with her legs apart
and her notes higher than her thighs.
To reminisce about such a deep drunk bliss
Ejaculates a sigh.
But she, nor that moment is not what I speak of.
I speak of a lost love
That does not seem worthy of my seeking
Defeating the fear of a future regret and needing.
A lost love
That once had me dancing on the ceiling.
But now the ceiling is closing in on the floor that is giving in too.
The choreography of this tragedy
Is so beautiful that it is painful.
Still, I never stop but grow!
With the speed of two snapped fingers
She was gone from my heart
And felt not
Like each and every pathetic love song that fell into my heart’s path
In a hopeless attempt to spark
The thought of an emotional revolt
Against that which my heart has decided to stop!
I recognise she from a previous life
Yet I am not sure if she was my torturer, executioner, or wife.
Maybe all three
For the pain felt physically, emotionally and spiritually
Could match all three equally.
With the speed of two snapped fingers
She was gone from my heart
And felt not
Only to return to my mind as a deep thought
Acting as a vicious reminder of a once perfect existence
Far from worthless
Yet not worth this bliss experienced from the emptiness practiced
And achieved more or less
However in denial I am.

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